The One Liner

One Liner came to me through, what else, okcupid. I wasn't immediately attracted to him and the messages we exchanged were kinda weird...I was worried about his poor grammar! But, what the heck...ha!

Pros

Former triathlete

6'1"

blue eyes

Cons

weird conversationalist

unemployed

doesn't drink

We met at the BART station as we came to find that both of us lived in the East Bay but neither of us had cars. He was better looking in person that I had expected...tall, lean, dark...and blue eyes. But there was just something weird about him. About 2 minutes into conversation, he told me he was unemployed. Ummm...ok, so are a lot of people these days so it might be ok.

We walked around Lake Merritt on a freezing cold night...for TWO MILES (note, I am in my work heels!)...and made our way to Starbucks. He tried holding my hand a couple times. Weird. I ordered, he ordered, and then he walked away...guess that means I've got the bill. Jerk.

The conversation was so labored and I really felt like we did NOT speak the same language! And as it came time to leave, I just wanted to hail a cab back to the BART...but off we went on the 2 mile journey.

Detour...suddenly, we're walking up this little hill into this cute little apartment building...yes, his. His place was super cute and he had WAY MORE clothes than any man I've met. The place was clean and well-decorated. Things are looking up. I later find out that he's got a masters degree in education and was a HS counselor. Ok, not bad.

As we sit and watch tv, he turns towards me, and what I thought was going to be a kiss, he aimed lower and went straight to the breasts. Kinda turned me on so I let him go...and as the clothes came off, I was yet again amazed how large this guy was! I'll ignore the weird stuff, like when I was down on him, he tried slapping my face gently with it. (WTF?!). So, we made our way to the bed, and again, the sex was really, really good...

We did a lot of experimenting and I liked the positions and the pace. But, the one thing that really just bugged the crap out of me was his ONE LINE: "yeah, baby, yeah". That was just all he could say. Over. and over. and over again. I don't think it would've been that obvious except for the fact that he's like Mr. Marathon Man and it went on for some time.

In any case, after all was said and done, it was a nice night but I doubt I'll see him again. As if the walk of shame weren't bad enough...he insisted that he take me to the BART station...on his bike...I shit you not. I've reached a new low.